the shitty places i've been in life are truly amazing. i'm so glad i'm not there anymore, but i'm also really glad i have those experiences to reflect upon. life is about learning, not winning or losing. i've learned some very priceless lessons in life and luckily at an early age where i still have the ability to bounce back.
since my last update i've changed most of my life. i'm living with my parents again and have been since september of last year. i took steps away from situations that had been bothering me and let them sort themselves out or just evaporate completely. i've rid my life of many people who were either toxic to my personality (or whose personalities i was toxic to) or whose views on life were so unwarranted i couldn't even empathize with their situations. i like who i am and i don't like feeling as though i should compromise that for anyone else. i also don't feel anyone should compromise that for me... and so it goes.
i'm halfway done with my first degree and i have straight A's. I can't believe I'm doing as well as I am. I guess I always thought school seemed impossible. College at least seemed that way a few years ago. I thought I'd give it my all this time and since I have been I've been succeeding. I feel very accomplished because of this and I'm happy I didn't just jump into the first career field that seemed profitable. Making a lot of money is ideal, sure, but I haven't based my whole life around it. In fact, up until recently, I've never based anything around money. I do want a family though and that will take sacrifices... like having a good job :) ohh no. haha.
i'm engaged to my soulmate, nicholas klender. i've spent a lot of time trying to convince myself that others were "the one" over the years. this one didn't take any convincing, thank goodness. he's 100% supportive, doesn't let me leave mad ever, and is just so very comforting to be around. i can always be myself around him which makes me feel so much less stressed about everything. i'm actually the least stressed i've been in ages. i won't give him all the credit, i did make positive changes too... but he has stood right by me through each one and never judged my decisions. that's something only true love can offer.
my brother and sister-in-law are having their first child in july and i couldn't be more excited. they're going to be such wonderful loving parents. my brother is an adult. he has been for a while, but this really makes it true. i'm so proud of the person he has become. he has overcome some things too.
my parents are getting close to retiring. my dad is giving nick his business (provided he wants it) in a couple years. until then he's looking for some steady fulltime work. it's pretty difficult to find anything worthwhile, but he's trying. i check online for him every day and find very little that pays well enough to bother with. he is doing landscaping right now so in the gloomy months he'll need something else. these things take time.
i'm very excited to get married and move in together. i don't think we're going to live together until we are married. i want to have a baby immediately after marriage, haha. i want a family so bad. i want to be a mother. i want to be a wife. i want everything i ran from for a long time. i guess i was running from the wrong people to do that with.
i can't believe i remembered having this journal. it's nice to come back every so often. nobody will read this and that's kind of the way i want it.
Recent Comments